My model Local Government Act would drastically change the way town and county halls work -
Allow councils to bring back grammar school selection, thus ending the postcode lottery. And given that the cost of state education has been standardised by Whitehall - which stumps up the money - let private and voluntary sector schools claim this funding instead where parents don't like what the county's offering.
Likewise if you don't like your bin collection service, spend the money on your own collector instead. Lots of Americans do this where their council doesn't collect rubbish, but only disposes of it. Separation at source should be made optional once we quit the European Union, as there are plenty of landfill sites to go round.
Elsewhere I have proposed taking former county and municipal hospitals back into local ownership. This would remedy the democratic deficit involved in running them. Competition from the private and voluntary sectors for treatment costs from a state health insurance fund would reduce unnecessary deaths too.
Planning permission is best left to residents living in the area which would be affected if the proposal went ahead. If a ward referendum turns the scheme down, it simply won't go ahead. If the scheme increases traffic flows or reduces the total amount of open space, then a referendum covering the whole district will be held instead.
Tenants of social housing should be able to ballot among themselves to transfer ownership of their blocks and estates to whichever social owner they want, including themselves acting as a co-operative. Foreign tenants should be evicted, as charity begins at home. This implies quitting the European Convention on Human Rights.
In addition to the services listed above, councils should only be authorised to offer the following extra ones, on pain of councillor surcharge - highways, lighting, recreation, libraries, environmental health, consumer standards, emergency and welfare services, and the licensing of taxis.
All expenditure should show up on the council website, along with tendering details for bought-in goods and services. Elected mayoralties will be abolished, as such administrations are always corrupt. Golden handshakes will go too, as will parasites employed in greenery and equalities - just as soon as we quit the European Union.
The ban on issuing local government bonds for cheap financing of public works will be lifted and the Public Fleecing Initiative (PFI), a form of fraud introduced under cover of the EU's Stability and Growth Pact, will be abolished. And an ultra-fair land value tax will replace both council tax and business rates.