Friday, 10 October 2014

Put cows in nappies, says EU

Following the passing of a European Union directive. any farmer with land that slopes steeper than 15% - say, in the Lake District or in the Scottish Highlands - will have to put his cows in nappies. From Richard Littlejohn -

"Johann Huber, a Bavarian cattle farmer, has started putting nappies on his herd to avoid falling, er, foul of an EU fertiliser directive. It might seem like an absurd protest against another ridiculous piece of Brussels bureaucratic interference, but.....the Bavarian dairy industry is convinced that there is no other way to comply with the latest environmental laws. New EU legislation forbids ‘land application of fertilisers to steeply sloping ground to avoid leaching of nitrates and water pollution’.As the ban on ‘fertilisers’ also includes cow-pats, farmers feel they have no alternative but to prevent what cows do naturally from coming into contact with the soil. The directive applies to all land with a gradient of more than 15%."

We knew the EU had it in for cows - blaming them for non-existent global warming - but this latest flatulent outburst from Brussels (geddit?) provides even more proof that we should leave now, before we do ourselves a mischief. Which would incur savage penalties if we're hiking up Snowdon at the time - unless we're wearing nappies.

4 comments:

  1. Just had the mental image of farmers doing what dog owners have to do, except he has a poop bag the size of a bin-bag over his shoulder like Santa.

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    1. He should empty the contents over the European Commissioner for Agriculture.

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  2. Thought this was a wind-up at first.

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    1. Your IP address noted and passed on to Europol.

      Delete

Keep it clean.....