Saturday, 28 September 2013

Climate prediction change

Er.....nearly all the world's scientists are now pretty sure that polar bears will be wearing sunglasses and Hawaiian shirts in a few year's time. The only scientists not saying this are those who own oil firms and, er, shale gas extraction outfits. The overwhelming majority of scientists are not oil and shale nazis who wear SS uniforms at secret meetings, but caring and environmentally-minded people who were only certain-ish about the world warming up, but who are now completely positive that penguins might need canoes in future as the Antarctic will be under water in about 10 year's time, or earlier if fracking gets the go ahead from the genocidal Right.

The science is now settled - 150% of the world's scientists are now tremendously sure, rather than sort of sure (to use expressions borrowed from probability theory) that the Dutch will soon be snorkelling to work in the tulip fields because their country will be flooded tomorrow. Er....the truth about Godfrey Bloom is that he wants Bongo-Bongo Land to suffer a carbon driven killer heatwave that will force the inhabitants to emigrate in search of social security, so that UKIP will be able to whip up even more ethnic hatred in future - and if the Dutch swim over too then Farage plans to riddle them with bullets as they land because he hates Europeans. Fight the cuts.

Dave Spart is General Secretary of the Amalgamated Union of Sixth-Form Operatives and Wind Farm Owners.

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