Saturday, 10 August 2013

Who are the middle class left?

1) Frigid feminists

Unable to relate to members of the opposite sex, such people blame men for everything. These ugly women try to ban lad's magazines out of sheer jealousy, and are always striving to recruit young girls - often dangerously under-age - to their cause. They regularly beat up their male equivalent, the self-hating, autocastrating new man.

2) Green puritans

Our greatest sin, according to this sub-type, is to exist. Every other species has this right, but not us. The modern west's equivalent of medieval flagellants, Greens look forward to an Armageddon brought on by global warming. They live on tofu until they become guilt-struck about eating plant material, whereupon they die of anorexia.

3) Colonial guilt-mongers

Taking up the white man's burden, these people bleat for more foreign aid (but not from their own pockets), and then criticise arms firms for taking it back from the third-world dictators it is paid out to. Guilt-mongers refuse to believe that blacks put these dictators in power themselves, and blame the CIA for their existence.

4) Moral degenerates

Rather than develop character qualities, some children - indulged by parents who believe in free expression - grow up to be entirely selfish and lazy. Blaming society for their lack of personal appeal or achievements after leaving education, they explain their drug addictions and sexual depravities by asserting that they are liberated.

5) Creative posers

Artists, dramatists and actors of no discernible talent often describe themselves as progressives. Because so few of us will pay for their worthless output, they obtain large grants from their public school friends in the quangos, portraying themselves as rebels against the system which makes such involuntary largesse possible.

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