Tuesday, 28 May 2013

News round-up

Police have stopped persecuting non-moslems who were complaining on the web about the killing of a soldier, and have started to arrest moslems from the murderers' circle of acquaintances. Health and safety fears over a cheese-rolling contest plague a local council, while the Tories keep losing support over their commitment to gay marriage. Two Pakistanis have been arrested over threats to blow up a plane, and worthless, cheap degrees may be on the cards thanks to EU students failing to repay their loans. The Bank Holiday poured with rain but the Met Office still says Britain is becoming a desert.

Supermarkets may be sued for harassment if they sell girlie magazines, while plans are made to divert British aid to Syria away from al Qaida, if possible. Prince Charles' old bit on the side has just flown back from Paris, and the Home Secretary has made yet another promise to get tough with bolshie foreigners. The EU plans to make energy even dearer and Nigel Farage has been shown smoking a cigarette. The BBC has apologised for linking Sinn Fein with the IRA, and the SNP will allocate every new-born Scot a social worker.

Dogs have extended their range of victims from people to farm animals, while a serial shoplifter has been spared gaol to break the cycle of release and imprisonment, enabling her to steal even more from shops in future.

1 comment:

Keep it clean.....